The Overshare

I realized something the other day:

KIDS DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO SHARE!

This past Monday MJ and I hit one of his favorite parks. It was a little windy, just enough wind to fly his kite. It was just he and I, no kite flying play date. I took a kite from the back of my soccer mom SUV and we started to fly the kite.  The park was empty with the exception of a couple with two small children around MJ's age. As many of us moms know, something as simple as a kite catches the attention of the kids nearby. 

The kids made there way to the grassy field where we were and looked in amazement at MJ's flying kite. Then the older girl, about 4, told MJ that it was her turn. This time, I did what I never have done, I asked MJ if he wanted to share. He said no. I said ok and told the little girl sorry, but he did not wish to share today. She insisted it was her turn. I again said sorry but no we are not sharing today. THEN the father of the kids pointed out to me that she had asked nicely. I explained to him that I understand the concept of sharing and I have asked MJ to share about a million times before. I said that this time I left it up to MJ. I said to the father that I have told MJ many times to get off a bike or leave a toy alone that was not his and was not offered by the owner to share with him. I explained this was our time to be alone with each other and have some MJ and Mommy fun.

Why are we fixated on making our kids share ALL THE TIME? It's complete at total CRAP! I get it if we are in a playgroup, but if we are there on our own, minding our own business, why then? It really didn't matter that we did not know these people. I'm pretty sure I would have said the same thing if it were someone that we knew that happened to be at the park that day. I know it goes against one of the cardinal rules of child rearing, but does it really? I think the lesson that should have been taught here is with the father and his child. He should have explained to her that sometimes kids don't need to share and it's perfectly fine. It's doesn't mean the kids that chooses not to share is bad. They just want this particular time for them self. I don't want MJ growing up to be a puss and think everything that is his has to be shared with everyone around and cave to the demand of his peers.  

I took a stand that day and it felt really good. Sharing is nice and should be taught, but sometimes it's okay to say "no thank you" to sharing.